Monday, January 23, 2012

funny quotes on new year


Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.  ~Don Marquis



Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat.  Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.  Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.  Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.  ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968



Birthdays are good for you.  Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.  ~Larry Lorenzoni




Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.  ~Don Marquis




They say that age is all in your mind.  The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.  ~Author Unknown



When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)




Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.  ~Herbert Asquith



It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.  ~Phyllis Diller

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  • They say that age is all in your mind.  The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.  ~Author Unknown

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  • A father carries pictures where his money used to be.  ~Author Unknown
    Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament.  But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland
    Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever.  ~Author Unknown

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  • They say that age is all in your mind.  The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.  ~Author Unknown


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