Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor
A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
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