Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
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