Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
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