Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
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